I know I haven't blogged for some time but I've been exhausted. I guess I didn't realise how much not eating, lying in bed, having kidney failure along with everything else takes out of you. Typically I want to run before I can walk . Anyway yesterday I was so tired that I went back to hospital to have my blood checked,everything was fine except for my platelets which were down to 11, but the doctor said that I could last until Monday as long as I stay away from sharp objects !
After the hospital I went for a massage which made me feel a whole lot better.

When I was at the hospital I met my consultant. I was quite embarrased because I knew that he knew things bout me that I couldn't remember - like me pulling my hickman line out. Yes, I know, all that pain putting the damn thing in and there I was 'out of my head' removing it! Anyway I broke it sufficiently that it had to be removed and now I just have the stitches and no venous access! Which of course means needles and searching for veins - not so much fun. I'd quite like to manage without another hickman line but it will depend on how well things go over the next few weeks.

It's very weird not being able to remember parts of your life, I don't want to remember the episode with the line - it makes me shiver to think about it. But the rest was like being in a dream, I was never sure whether I would make it to the next day. I didn't believe that it was real. I became obsessed with knowing what day it was and what time it was, just trying to get to the next day to prove that I was alive. Eventually it felt like I knew all the conversations that were happening around me and began to feel like I was back in the dream again. The only way I could feel better was to get out of the hospital. I've been in hospital for so long and I can cope with the confinement but this was different I needed to understand that life was real that I was really alive and the only way to do that was to get out.

My spindly legs carried me out last Friday and this week has brought me nothing but pure happiness every single day.

Today we are off to pick up Elliott from grannys and then on to A & K's for the night. We'll take the boys back to school on Sunday - they have exams all next week - yikes - bless them. Then we'll be back at the hospital on Monday morning for platelets.

So I'll try and blog more next week, give you all the update on our new house plans and maybe just let you in on the hours I spent studying the size and speed of bubbles in fizzy
water and coke - bet you can hardly wait !!!

Lots of love
M

ps - Carry - got the pink fluffy duster - thanks - Russ keeps it his side of the bed and I have the card with you and Neil fixing the guttering , what sparkling clean people you are!!!!! you make me smile - thank you.